Waiting for the Drop

Waiting for the Drop:  A Year of Dub-step and Electronica and in Recovery

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There’s an edge to music that is produced by English artists that is different from American artists-- for one thing.  it moves me to an aggressive and active enthusiasm, that few others do.  English Dubstep is life affirming, to the point that it needs no real reason to be life affirming.

Its beats are visceral in their tempo, its lyrics which have harmonious hooks in them seems to catch like lures on the skin to adjust the listeners’ posture.

In truth I was raised on a diet of country music, bad rap, and the Beatles, and though something can be said for the Beatles, it might be as easy as comparing apples to oranges—current music in the UK makes me want to rip the orange open and as I devour it, let the juice dribble down my chin.

One can occasionally see the in roads that British MC’s have dropped on unsuspecting states.  Producer 

Calvin Harris’ Electronica themed music enhanced Rihanna’s “Love in a Hopeless Place.” While also dropping the slightly sultry, slightly upbeat, “So Close” on the music charts.

The truth Is at the time I discovered Dubstep, I had been waiting for the bottom to fall out on my life. After moving in with my enthusiastic roommate, I had started a daily re

At the time, I had moved in with him after a particularly swift and brutal breakup.  On my end, I had conceded many of my possessions in order to share a house with her.  So when H dumped me, shortly after attending about a month of intensive therapy, the woman who I thought was the love of my life, left me high and dry with a futon mattress, my books and my computer.  And at that time, apart from being painfully giddy, I found I was crying quite a bit.  Among all the names I called myself, “Beginagain,” “Rebounder,” “ Captain Hindsight,” the phrase I kept returning to in all my time, was that this was going to be a new beginning for me, and even though I was several months from finding myself—dub-step  gave me a “glimpse of what the future holds” but even then, I didn’t believe I would recover from the drop I had already taken,  and which Sheeran assured me was ”just another day” (Sheeran).  I was waiting for the drop, which I feared would be a permanent fall.

2.  "You know you're only in it cause its hot right now"--Rita Ora. "Hot Right Now."

My room-mate has shown me videos.  One video takes my breath away.  This girl with an angelic face dances in front of a computer screen, and she's just jamming out hard, while it appears the boy who she has been talking to via video chat is frustrated.  His frustration has a little something to do, with his attitude.  She ignores him, and for a moment, throws her hair back, just as the dub-step makes its drop.  What follows is a complete moment of innervation, lights flash, snow falls, confetti explodes.  The world becomes visceral and alive, and all he can do is watch her and frown like a whiny school boy.

Her body becomes the music, turning in it, as if the world has melted away and there is only the rhythm, sound and her dancing.  For weeks, I have been the boy, but right now, when the song moves through me, i want to be the girl.  She cannot be held or broken, her joy is energized on a subatomic level, and she has the fire inside her, and nothing will stop her.

 And then I hear the words.  "Back in control of my life."  The song is my anthem.  It is the strange, sacred truth of my situation.  I am in control, and i have the fire.   For a moment, I can hear Rita Ora say something else, but right now, I'm in the heat of the moment, and I want to let it go and go and never turn back.