Juxtaposition Collision

First Day of Class.
Me:  We're going over the Syllabus.  This is the general overview of my class. Notice some very important things.  This is my office number.  This is my email.  This is a detailed Schedule of papers, and readings.  This schedule should not change for readings, but given need or request, we might have to change paper dates. Notice carefully,the number of days that you cannot miss.  4 class periods, equals a decided shift, and if you miss 4 you cannot get an A.  If you miss class, 6 times, this constitutes an automatic F for the course.
Bear in mind this is a monday/wednesday/Friday class. Most students piggyback their courses on MWF, meaning they come at 8 in the morning, and leave at 5.

Asked about two weeks in:  What's your email?  Its on the syllabus.
Student:  Syllawhat? (Proof that student hasn't read the syllabus.)

Take out your books.  80 percent of the class takes out their books.  Bear in mind, last night each had two reading assignments from the book.  Me:  Where is your book?  Student:  I left it at home.   Me:  The syllabus states you must bring your book to class everyday, or you may be turned out of class.   Student opens his booksack which has almost nothing in it.  Attempts to try to find book in empty booksack.

This is not normally an issue.  Over weeks, same student seems to never have book.  Me:  Can I talk to you after class?  Where is your book.   Student:  I forget it at home.   Me:  Do you forget every book?  Your booksack is empty.  This is the 4th time.  (Yes, i count)  Once is a mistake.  4 Times is a fact.  You don't have a book.  You've been lying to me for about four weeks now, and not doing the reading.  Student:  No, i just forget it.  Me:  Bring your book next time so i can see it.

Student shows up with a book.  Brand New.  Spine isn't creased. Student still has reciept sticking out of pocket.

Handwritten homework:  Read this essay and list the adjectives in the essay on a sheet of paper.  I have counted them, they range about 54 adjectives.  Student turns in assignment, with a list of 12 adjectives,  which happen to stop about the third paragraph.  Student turns in paper, without name on it. (Fact:  student attempted to do last night's homework in the hall. Student forgot to put name on it, in the time of 20 minuites before class.)


Each essay has three to four words that are difficult.  Students are told they can send me words they don't know if they look them up, online for extra credit.  Students, ask me in the middle of class what certain words mean.  Students blatantly displays he/she did not read essay.

Students are assigned essay titled "Yearning" to read.  Three days after, i discuss "Yearning" concept with them.  One student asks "What is Yearning?"   I look student directly in the face and say. "That tells me, you didn't read the essay marked Yearning."

Students are told first day,and in the syllabus that if you miss class, you need not tell me, nor may you ask me, "What did I miss?"  You hve forfeited the lecture from that class.  ALL OF THIS IS IN THE SYLLABUS.  Students are informed, however, that homework will be posted on "BlackBoard" and should check that first, and not ask me.  Students are also told, i don't need excuses for missed class, check the blackboard for what you missed.  Don't email me to apologize.

Student Email:  "I am so sorry i missed class.  I had a doctor's appointment. (My first inclination is to ask, what time the appointment was? and did you miss other classes for a one hour doctor's appointment?)  Second half of email?
"Can you tell me what homework i missed?"