It has been a while since I came to this blog. All of my students are working hard on writing and I am struggling into a new position with the love of my life, and my life as I know it. My life is about to change. This month alone I will be learning to squeeze a penny so hard, that it will probably scream. My season in the sun is now over.
It has been two months from returning from the Center, and you can learn about my other blog, which has also been on hiatus. The almighty creative "word" has left me. The Word of God is still inside me, but I wonder for a month did my savior and God have me think strongly on how it is I write and what I write about. This month alone has been hard. I have struggled with no money in the bank, or hardly any. I am still struggling with being a Father, which comes and goes in spurts of happiness, and I am overcoming my addictions. Inside the bubble of therapy, I felt secure in my ways, but it is in the real world that I am coming to terms with my future. The distant horizon looms like dreamy and scary future. I will probably be moving out, so that my relationship with Hollie can be made legitimate and that is something I deperately want in the sight of my God.
All this week, God has been taking from me in order to know that I have real needs, not material ones and that my soul is at stake for the things I worship in Idolotry. This is a hard message to take for a man who loves the image on the screen, who sees the larger than life director/author/auteur figure as his model. This is going to take some work.
Today is the first day with money in my account--money that is already fleeing my account, but I am going to pray with strength.My future is bright, and if all this seems abstract, I do indeed need to be able to make it clear. I am having the strangest season ever. My life is deeper, but I have less stuff.
That in itself is a mystery. Hope this wasn't too philosophical.
Back Again Soon,
James
The "shruggish" beginning and a new attempt to write a regular blog for a man who is learning everything he needs to have a varied and successful life. The search for true love,happiness, pride, joy, clarity and truth. The blog records my interests, varied and hereditary, my loves and my fandom. It exploes the truth of life lived out loud and the juxtaposed elements of a life lived in full--with pictures and words.
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